Monday, July 21, 2014

Mommy Date (at Ross)

Ross just opened a store up around the corner from our home on Saturday and I thought it would be a perfect place for Zoe and I to have a Mommy date.

Ross is my go to place for shoes, dresses, and home items, and they did not disappoint. 

We started off in the shoe department were I found these three lovely pairs of shoes. 

The wedges are my fave!!! They were so comfortable, I've NEVER worn a heel that comfortable.  I can easily chase my kids in them.  (This is how I figure out my shoe choice daily.) 




Next, we tackled the ladies department, where Zoe helped me skim the racks.  This is her giving me fashion advice ("No mommy, one simply does not wear the garment.") She's my little Andre Leon Talley.

 
Next up was the home department, where she fell in love with this chair.... It was adorable, she was  Goldilocks. 
 

 
 
I had to take a picture of this painting because it was so breathtaking... we walked past and Zoe said, "mommy, WOW."  




I even scored a pillow for my neck. I've had a crick for about two weeks due to ill sleep position and falling asleep while nursing (all curled up around the baby and whatnots).  Brax looks cuter than me, using it though.
 
 
**** Ross invited me to shop and sponsored me with gift certificates. **** 


Friday, July 18, 2014

The Naked Party

I was leaving my apartment (we live on the second floor), and I noticed behind us (there is a brick barrier between us and a cul de sac) that some neighbors were having a party in their pool. 

There were about 10 dudes laughing and toweling off, some had on regular bathing suits and some had on bikinis.  I assumed it was a bunch of gay men having fun and while I snickered at man parts in bikinis, I moved on....

Later on that night, my husband left and called me freaking out.

That simple bikini party had turned into a balls fest and the men were NAKED.



Yep, folks, NAKED.


#Iknowitsyourbackyardbut

#itsafreecountryandallbut

#hideyawifehideyakids

#my2yearoldsawyourgonads



Wednesday, July 16, 2014

I'm A Sucker For....





I am a sucker for a women's anthem.... check this out.


Also, check out Songza, which my co-worker just introduced me to this week and I've been addicted ever since (also how I discovered this song).  I MUST have music while working. 

Friday, July 11, 2014

For the Love of Fashion- what pisses me off

WARNING:  I am about to go HAM! 


You kept reading.  You like drama, you little minx.  *wink*

Why is it that depending on the brand, I can wear a size 10, 12, or 14?  It's stupid. It makes shopping HELL! 

When ordering online, I don't want to have to break out my measuring tape every time I want to buy a dress to figure out what absurd measuring guideline you used to screw with my emotions.  

I simply do not have the TIME... I am a mom.  I am a working woman. I have a HOME to run for Pete's sake. 

I don't want to take my kids to your store and try the crap on.... I don't want to break out my double stroller that 9 times out of 10 YOUR store isn't made for.  I can see the salespeople glare at me and grimace as I awkwardly turn the corners and knock your dainty dresses off the displays.  (Do you think I'm having fun pushing this thing?)  I don't want to have to grab three of the same dress in three different sizes and I don't want to have to rush to the fitting room, knocking the stroller into the walls, and try it on before one of my two have a meltdown because heaven forbid, Mommy wants to look PRETTY!

I want to order the crap at home.... in my robe... while they are ASLEEP.

But noooooo.  You want to continue with your fancy sizing, fashion makers... You don't want to make it easy for me.  YOU like it when I'm crazy.  YOU you want to add one more chore for me to do. 

Well, I don't have time.

I have to wash bottles. 

So you just missed a sale.

#goodnight



Tuesday, July 8, 2014

From the Mouth of Babes

My girl, 2, doesn't speak the clearest.  Although my husband and I can understand her pretty well, an outsider probably can't.

Last night, I did our usual routine of reading a book and prayer and then it was time for bed.

Zoe:  "Mommy lay down (in bed with her). I'm scared."

Me:  "There's nothing to be scared of... Me and your dad are a holler away."

Zoe: But I'm scared mommy.  There are Monsters.  (She probably got this from Monsters, Inc. as she is currently obsessed with watching.)

Me:  There are no monsters, Zoe... Lay down. 

She's been stalling for bed since last week, so I'm not really sure her "fears" are true.

Zoe:  *whispers* But there are DRAGONS.....



WTH does this kid know about dragons? 

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Awkward Dance

So I started Zumba... it's such a wonderful class.  This one is taught by a girl who has rhythm (I've had some bad experience, chile) and we are popping and twerking and working our way into a sweat.  After the first song, I feel challenged.

There is one problem, yaw. 

See, I move like this...






I am a woman with rhythm and I can dance (although I rarely do)... but something happens after I have babies.  (The same thing happened after Zoe.)

I am off.  My body doesn't cooperate and I am stiff and awkward.  I have the grace of a billy goat. I clomp around and I don't know my body.   I also lose my train of thought pretty quickly so while they are on move D, I'm still on A and B.  (LOL. Thank God I can laugh at myself!)

 This is not only dancing, in heels, I am scared and I feel like I'm going to fall over. 

Jonah Hill – The F?

What is this?  Did any of you experience it?

Well, I guess since this has happened before, I know my "jig" will come back eventually, but until then, it's....

Folks, we have a winner!

Ms. Anonymous or "Lisa Coupons" you won, my dear.  I'll be contacting you for your address!