Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Sleep Deprived

I thought I had a good night of sleep last night. I woke up this morning, not pissed that my alarm went off.  I was at work functioning regularly (no coffee necessary).

Then, we had one of our monthly lunch and learns and someone came in to talk to us about meditation and mindfulness.

We did a mindfulness exercise.  Her voice was so dang on melodic and soothing, I think she hypnotized me.

After it was over she asked if anyone had anything to share and no one immediately spoke up, so I said, "I think I got so relaxed that I fell asleep."  She said, "you did."  Welp! That confirmed it.  Someone else said, "I think you snorted." 



#theshame



#mylife

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

11

I have been a mommy of two for 11 months! 

Brax.  Braxton Beanie.  Braxie, Brach (as sissy says).  Mommy's son. Braxton Reezy.  

You are 11 months old.  You are adorable. You are sweet.  I love to watch you walk-belly out, legs bowed.  You have even started mixing in quick step runs if I bark at you and pretend to chase.  I'm your jungle gym; any time you catch me on the floor, my body is your playground- which means my workouts are cut short.  

I love you so much.  You like to be down and around, pulling non-toys out of drawers.  You've decided you aren't eating baby food any longer and will take anyone's food within your reach.  You often climb into my lap and curl into the crook of my neck. When you're in my lap, I kiss your thick head of curls.  You are beautiful, you are a miracle.


Zoe.  Mommy's Zoe. Zoedas. Zoe-Zoe.  Mama's Girl. 


You are 3.  You are beautiful.  You are sensitive. You are strong.  You have a such a wide range of emotions and I hope you never change.  You get shy in crowds until you warm up (just like Mommy!)   But you also tune the entire class out in Sunday School, stand in the middle of the circle and sing your quiet song and spin with your eyes closed as if no one is there.  You cry if someone else is hurt. 

You love fashion (already, just like Mommy).  You play in everyone's clothes, even your baby clothes.  Mommy loves your inquisitiveness.  You are Mommy's best first and I love you.

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

#leStruggle No More


1.  I'm overweight, but I love food.  (Going out to eat is my best thing!) 
2.   I'm overweight, but I hate workout out.
3.  I'm need to work out, but who has time?
4.  I need some new clothes, but I don't want to shop for a bigger size.

All reasons things pointed to GO! (to workout)

I asked my husband a few times if we could get a family membership to the Y.  He said no, it's too expensive.  I agree, it IS a lot of money, especially when my husband already has two gym memberships that are under $20/month.  The Y is way higher than that for one person. 

But the benefits outweigh the cost- they have a child care center and they have classes.  I hate working out and need something that is going to smash all of my excuses to pieces.

So I did something for me,  I bought myself a single membership and have been Saturday, Monday, and Tuesday. 

I started off with cardio on the elliptical and failed out after 10 minutes, I couldn't make it. Then I finished up riding the bike for 20. 

Monday, I took a BodyPump Class. (a good torture)

Yesterday, we did Aqua Burn. (#meh)

I have a friend who has become a gym rat and thankfully, she encourages me and works out with me.  If it weren't for her, I'd probably not have made it Monday and Tuesday- there was too much drama with B getting a stomach virus and all.  (Gym buddies are essential.)

I'm determined to stick with it this time.  I need to be the best me for LaToya.... for my kids who look up to me, for the girl power.

You're not seeing things, I have a new hair color.

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

"You're Sort of Like a Grandma..."

One of my co-workers said this to me this morning and it was the sweetest thing she could say. I truly appreciated it.  Prior to her saying that, she prefaced it with her hopes that I wouldn't be offended.

She said it after a conversation we had this morning. As you know, I work in a pretty big law firm. I'm a legal secretary/assistant, as she is, and we have great conversations over the wall that separates us. She has daughters my age and I appreciate the wisdom that she shares with me.  We're like Tim the Tool man Taylor and Wilson, only we cannot see each other:


This morning, I was venting to her that my son woke up at 3 a.m. and I'd been up since. I am in a zombie like state at work.

She said that I had the patience of a saint and as much as I wish I could accept the compliment, I couldn't.

My patience sucks. If there is one thing that my mom yells at me to this very day, it's "Toya!  Be patient." Well, it's hard.  I can't. 

I'd admitted that it was simply love.  I'm enamored with him (as I am with my daughter). As sleepy as I was, I didn't have an ounce of anger because he was up.

Initially, I sleepily tried to nurse him back to slumber but when that didn't work, I just sat up and joined him.  I rested my face in his curls and looked down at his long eyelashes.  I played with his baby toes.  I let him bite my chin (he's teething).  I just love him.  How can I be mad that he wanted to get up and spend some time with me?   I'm lucky.

H wasn't quiet, he was babbling loudly and doing his new trick, WTF hands:


My husband woke up from his catnap state (he'd just returned to our bed because Zoe has been waking him up nightly- crying or calling him to her room) and shushed him, to which he replied by crawling up to his head and yell-babbling. It was so sweet and it was so early, but how could I be mad?

One thing that I've done is listen to those around me and the phrase I've heard over and over is, "it all goes so fast, enjoy every moment."  That's exactly what I'm trying to do.  I want to fully embrace parenthood. I want to be present, I don't want to miss a thing and I won't rush them.  I want to enjoy, be calm and be still (like grandma), even if it's at 3 a.m. on a work day.

Monday, December 22, 2014

What Makes Life Easy

Having a 3 year old and a 9 month old, as well as a hubby and a full time job outside of the home leaves me a little short on time.

For that reason, I love have a few ways that make life easier.

1.  Beauty Shop

My 3 year old goes to the beauty shop. She has a ton of natural hair. It's very thick.  (My hair is short and relaxed- simple!) I do not know how to braid.  It takes me a good amount of time to wash her hair and style it, and I have to do it pretty often.  I searched out a salon and when we found one that would take her, due to her age, I was overjoyed.  She goes here and Dakota does such a marvelous job on her.  She sits perfectly still like a big girl, and she enjoys getting her hair done. Dakota and the other stylists are always blown away that she is 3.  I love it.

May I add, no one told her to pose like that.  #iShan't


2.  Double Cooking

On the weekend,  I cook two meals that should last us the entire week. This means when I get off work on Monday through Friday, I don't have to worry about what we are going to eat for dinner.  I also don't have to go through the drama of asking my husband repeatedly what he'd like to eat which he never has an answer to which always leaves me annoyed.

3.  Clean and Laundry during the week

If I can help it, I like to keep our weekends free so we can do fun family activities.  To do this, we clean our home on Thursday or Friday night and try to do laundry throughout the week as well.  I don't know if it's just mine but our HE washer takes forever, so doing laundry spans over a few days, but it's ok as long as it's not taking up my Saturday or Sunday.

4.  Pack a bag

My mom watches our kids while we're at work during the week. On Sunday, I pack a bag of all of their clothes for the week, shoes, food for Braxton, and diapers, etc. etc., and I send it with them on Monday! When we leave out in the mornings, they are still sleeping, so they have on their pj's. She has the option of either putting clothes on them, or keeping them in their pj's.  MOM definitely makes life easier.  

The crazy thing is, as much as I try to make life easier- I still find myself sometimes not sitting down until bedtime!!!!!  #momlife

What about you- do you have any ways to share that make life easier?


Monday, December 15, 2014

A Little Makeup

I teased my girlfriends and said that my fabulousness was accidental.

What I meant by it- I put a great deal of thought and effort into my appearance.  I care a great deal about first impressions. But, I'm no fuss- very minimal. I don't put a lot of time and effort into it.  I've bragged before that I rarely spend over $30 for any item of clothing.  My hair is done by me (except the hair cut) and it's done quickly, My makeup application mirrors this.

Makeup is important to me to make me feel my best.  I've seen women who rock a beat face and one of my beautiful girlfriends said she needs about 30 minutes to put on makeup.  Not me.

I think that amount of time scares a lot of women because we simply do not have it, or just don't have the energy or interest.

I'm here to tell you that you can look good in about 5 minutes!

I start with a clean face, and E.L.F. Primer.


My skin is very prone to breakouts, especially around the time of my cycle.  I would not go out sans makeup, but I'm sharing this pic with you.  (WOW! #believeit)

I first put on my makeup with a blending brush.  I use Maybelline Fit and I mix colors 310 and 330.  I then use concealer under my eyes and on the spots, also Maybelline Fit.  I top with Almay Smart Shade Finishing Powder to set it. 

This is what you get after that. 


Next, I do very minimal "fleek" on the eyebrows.  (That word cracks me up.)  I use E.L.F. Eyebrow Kit.... sometimes I put on eye shadow, most of the times, not (I just don't feel like it considering I have to wear glasses all day now!)  I line the insides of my eyes (if I feel like it) and top with mascara.  Mascara is a must and I have tried a few because I love my eyes to look doe-y.  Right now, I'm using Essence Mascara.  

I also use blush and sometimes highlighter

I top with gloss or nude lipstick (unless I'm feeling froggy, in which I'll do red!)

Here's my finished product:



Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Blur

According to Blogger, I haven't written in 28 days..... It's all been a blur. So much has gone on but nothing truly significant (I'm thankful for that) <<<< evidently I assume significant = bad.  My family is alive and well, well, except for Zoe who is recovering from the flu because an extended family member brought a sick kid over for Thanksgiving dinner but that's neither here nor there because the more I think about it the more pissed I get so I won't.

Breathe.

Last week, Braxton had something, I don't know what. He had a fever that won't quit and his doctor sent us to the Emergency Room of the children's hospital, where he got blood drawn, almost got a catheter (except he peed toward the nurse just as she was about to insert- thank GOD), chest x-ray and antibiotic shots in both legs.  And yet, we STILL don't know what was wrong with him. 




It's been rough.

But there's also been good moments.

I turned 30------- (ain't it sad that I had to think what year it is to remember how old I am). 34. I turned 34.  My birthday was low key. My husband and I ate at a very cool restaurant called Hammerheads then we saw Gone Girl which was so good that I want to un-see it so I can see it again.  My girlfriends and I went to Wild Eggs which is amazing.  We're going again this weekend. 

I've also repeated this dress a lot... it's one of my faves:



And I also wore my best outfit ever.  I LOVE this outfit, it makes me look slim. 


And I walked in Old Navy to get socks on probably the worst shopping day ever without a stroller, with both kids and this happened:
"Are you my mommy?"

But alas, Life is Good!